Yet another fall of dominoes, this time by a song, i was listening to - “Somewhere only we know” by Keane, and my series of yapping continues.

“Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on
So, tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin …”

Past times more often than not seem simpler as compared to the situations we face currently, and that might be one of the reason for why i am thinking of the times when things were that way. Sharing a conversation was easier, and there were fewer filters to what was said.

In this hyper-connected world i find it very difficult to build real meaningful connections, my introversion does contribute to it, not denying that. But when i think of it more crudely. It boils down to two main factors, place and time. Places like schools, colleges, and offices provide a platform for people to interact, go through experiences together, additionally strong ties are made with time, a factor which a lot of people do not have these days, including me. The absence of one or both results in weak ties or just ties, one where you are tied with someone for some time and you have to deal with it, like it or not. Apart from that there is some more bias that comes into play - “you”, whether you like the people around you or not, ultimately becomes a deciding factor.

Schools are more of a social group that your parents decide for you, fixing one variable “place”, you end up experimenting with the people and experiences here, while you are young time is your ally (provided you do not shift schools every year or two). If things go well, boom! You might have very strong ties built during this period, this luckily was the case with me. The same example can be extrapolated to your college, workplace and whatnot. You are always experimenting with three key variables: Time, Place, and People.

For me situations, like going out on a date, a meetup, or a warm introduction, are all synthetic, but at times necessary, where we gauge the person and decide on the amount of time and energy that needs to go in consecutive meetups (if at all you end up meeting again). Sometimes i find it very difficult to get past these initial barriers when i meet someone new, the amount of thinking that goes in without a conscious effort is unmatched.

But without a doubt, i can say this: There are some wildcards, some people will just swoop in your life and stay, and being open to that possibility makes things less difficult.

Oh, how i wish things were simpler, while you know some people are very much compatible to your needs, finding them seems endless. How i wish there was a go-to place to find these people.

If you haven’t listened to the song already:

Sagar Sarkale